


Quarantine

by ZoBerry



Series: Reapers? What Reapers? [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Chat Type, Multi, reapers what reapers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoBerry/pseuds/ZoBerry
Summary: A bunch of silly stories our characters go through during the quarantine.
Relationships: EDI/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni, Garrus Vakarian/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, James Vega/Ashley Williams, and more- - Relationship
Series: Reapers? What Reapers? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925056
Kudos: 2





	1. Zoom Meeting (1)

**Author's Note:**

> writing- inspired by a certain fic. Thanks in end notes.
> 
> I also was interested how a free-flowing interaction goes. Though this is meant to be as if they were in "video-calls". I have no idea what the plots are gonna be so i'll just slap shit until i get there. All I'm sure is Jessie is a great listener.

> _Is Liara burning the midnight oil again?_
> 
> Yeah, looks like it.
> 
> _Do you think we will have everyone online this time?_
> 
> I hope so. I'm going crazy just seeing ----

> ** Terminal Beeping Sounds **

Bombshell Blue: 

Shepard. I'm here. -- Glyph. Keep minimal bandwidth on the meeting,  
make sure the broker terminal will never lose connection. 

(Yes Dr. T'Soni)

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

Glad you're able to make it Liara.  
Without someone as wonderful as you we  
wouldn't be able to set a good QEC connection  
with everyone wanting some video calls.

  
  
Bombshell Blue:   
  
Hmmm. Flattery. Yes.  
But I'll be mostly busy Shepard.   
You can keep the guests entertained. I'll be sure to keep this   
connected until the---

**Tali'Zorah Vas Quilton has entered the meeting**

Tali'Zorah Vas Quilton:

Keelah. Finally. Imagine how long I had to beg  
off another meeting! Now we can finally get  
this party rolli--  
Where is everyone?  
  


Bombshell Blue:   
  
You're the first. Everyone is late.  
  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

It's only two minutes in Liara. It's not that late.  
  


Tali'Zorah Vas Quilton:

Before anything else. I didn't know Liara went  
by the name Bombshell Blue.  
Isn't that the name of----

Bombshell Blue:   
  
Goddess.

  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

(Unashamedly stifling own laughter)

**Scar-Faced Angel has entered the meeting**

**Ashley Williams has entered the meeting  
  
Bombshell Blue has changed her name to Liara  
  
**

Ashley Williams:

So you're Bombshell Blue! I knew there was  
something funny about those videos.

Liara:   
  
.... Goddess.  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

(Laughter intensifies)  
  
  


Scar-Faced Angel:

What's that about a blue nuke?

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

You still can't say 'bomb' big guy?

Scar-Faced Angel:

Very funny Shepard---

** Tali'Zorah Vas Quilton has changed their name to Tali **

** Ashley Williams has changed their name to Ashley **

Liara:

No one.

Tali:

No it's Liara! she's _the_ bombshell blue

Liara:

Tali I would advise against letting this leave the   
chat. Or should I tell the team how many  
times you've changed names now?

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

You're right bom-- Liara, Tali, when have you been Quilton?

Scar-Faced Angel:

Quilton? You were just Vas'Avos a week ago!  
  
  
Tali:

Oh you know. Busy busy. Hard when only quarians are  
able to safely traverse around---  
  
  
Liara:

So you mean it's not because---  
  
  
Tali:

No I'm sure it's not. Well. You know Liara. I'll quiet down.  
  
  
Ashley:  
  
Not that I'll be asking anything - but Liara i'd like an autograph - it's for James.  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

Ew.

Tali:

Ew. But that's... sweet?  
  
  
Liara:  
  
Really Shepard? Ew?

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

Just cause it's sweet babe. Don't worry..

Liara:  
  
I'll think about it. Fifty thousand credits to  
Biotically Blessed School - H1C branch will do.  
  


  
"Commander Fucking" Shepard:  
  
What a babe

  
Tali:  
  
That's space-kill 

  
  
Scar-Faced Angel:

Wait. Bombshell Blue? The highest paid GalaxyFans gal?

Tali:

Well.

  
  
Ashley:   
  
Nah.

  
  
Liara:

No.

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:

(Lips bites in failed laughter -)

Scar-Faced Angel:

Well. Let's just say I didn't hear anything.

Liara:

Or see anything.

Scar-Faced Angel:  
  
Yes. Or see anything.

**Liara has cleared the room logs**

**Big Boy Vega has entered the meeting  
  
Jeff Moreau has entered the meeting  
  
  
  
**

Big Boy Vega:  
  
Ola ola y'all! Oh god. Ash you better be not kidding me.

  
  
**Jeff Moreau has changed his name to Joker**   
  


Joker:

Ash you better not be kidding. Even Edi couldn't  
crack the security team who bombshell blue is -   
and you're telling us you can get an autograph?

  
  
"Commander Fucking" Shepard:  
  
That was fast.

  
  
Liara:  
  
Ashley?

  
  
Ashley:   
  
I mean. I think it's Bombshell Blue - right Tali?  
Uh James are you with Joker?

Tali:

I'm not so sure Ash. I think it isn't.

Big Boy Vega:

Yep. Dropped by his place for a beer. Even he couldn't believe it -   
wait. So it's not true?

  
"Commander Fucking" Shepard:  
  
Yes it is.

Liara:  
  
Wha--

Tali:

Gutsy. Very gutsy.

Big Boy Vega:

You're the best Shepard! I knew   
you're able to do anything.

"Commander Fucking" Shepard:  
  
Oh stop it. You know me and all.

Tali

With that out of the bag. I hope you do get some  
"fucking" Shepard. Looks like you're going to be lonely.  
Oh wait - someone's calling me - wha---

Scar-Faced Angel:

Hey guys, I'm gonna pop out a bit - uh black hole and all-

**Scar-Faced Angel has left the meeting  
  
Tali - In Another Call  
**

* * *


	2. Zoom Meeting (1.5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only wanted to make it light. But no. Always with the drama / sigh.  
> Also. I dont know what I'm doing / writing / setting up here XD So just take everything with a chaotic grain of salt.

** Garry Vamoosh and Can't Tali Me Up Private Conversation **

Garry Vamoosh  
  
Tali. Quilton. Really? 

Can't Tali Me Up

Why not? I don't need your permission.

Garry Vamoosh  
  
Hey I'm sorry ok. I --

Can't Tali Me Up

You weren't sorry a month ago when I gave you   
another chance and you blew it Garrus.

Garry Vamoosh  
  
I - that promotion was important. I --

Can't Tali Me Up

My promotion is important too. The Quilton gave me a   
good deal and I'm taking it.

Garry Vamoosh  
  
Bu-- but Captain Brutii isn't even _nice.  
_ Can we at least me up? When the quarantine  
in Palaven is over I mean.

Can't Tali Me Up

No need to be nice. I'm capable enough you know.  
But....  
  


Garry Vamoosh  
  
But... yeeees?

Can't Tali Me Up

I can always visit you Garry.  
But I'm not going to be with you   
not after so many chances.  
So you're going to be waiting for a long time.

Garry Vamoosh

... At least you called me Garry.

Can't Tali Me Up  
  
No I didn't.

Garry Vamoosh

Yes you did. I'll take that as a win.

Can't Tali Me Up  
  
Bosh'tet. I'm hanging up.  
Meet you back with Bombshell Blue's comms.

* * *

** Blue Like The Sky and Broker's Lover Private Conversation **

Blue Like The Sky 

Shepard. Did you really just tell  
James that you could get my autograph?

  
Broker's Lover  


Yours? I thought you weren't Bombshell blue?

Blue Like The Sky 

Oooh very funny.  
Let's see if you do get some 'fucking' later.

  
Broker's Lover

You know I'm never gonna run out of   
"fucking" - hey wait!  
Later? So that means  
you'll finally be coming home?  
  


Blue Like The Sky 

I... no...  
Fine. You've ruined the surprise anyway.

  
Broker's Lover

What surprise?  
I didn't even know there was one!

Blue Like The Sky 

You are incorrigible. Of course there  
isn't anymore. I spoiled it. Happy?

  
Broker's Lover

Very. Love you Liara.

  
Blue Like The Sky 

And I you. Shepard.   
And I love you.

* * *

** Back in the "Group" Zoom Meeting **

**K4Id3N AL3nK0 has entered the meeting**

Joker:

Oh wow. Kaidan you doing ok?  
  
  
K4Id3N AL3nK0

Of course I am. Why, what's up? Not   
even a "Hello" Kaidan?  
  
  
Ashley   
  
You doing ok - seems like a good "hello"  
But seriously, are you ok Kaidan?  
  
  
Big Boy Vega  
  
What is this pendejo speak amigo? You doing good?  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard (Broker Auto):  
  
Hey. What's up?

K4Id3N AL3nK0

Of course I am-- oh hey Shepard. Good  
to see someone ask how I am.  
  
  
(Joker and Ashley stares open mouthed)

K4Id3N AL3nK0

Anyway. I just wanted to say I'm so   
lucky to have gotten out of class early.  
I did NOT want to go camping outside.  
Did you see how cold it is?  
\-----  
  
(Kaidan continued to talk for ten minutes straight with an automated broker feed of Shepard saying "uh huh" and nodding her head on loop)

_** Static enters Shepard's and Liara's video  ** _

"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
Alright then - good talk. What's up?  
Hey Kaidan! Are you ok?  
  


K4Id3N AL3nK0

and then I just had the weirdest dream ---  
Wait what do you mean am I ok?

  
  
Liara   
  
... You aren't Kaidan.  
  


K4Id3N AL3nK0

What. Of course I am!  
  


  
Liara   
  
Gly--- Ta-- oh wait  
Tali's still talking to Garrus.  
Joker - can Edi set up a remote  
check? 

Joker

OH wow Liara. Did you think my girlfriend's   
some kind of hot synthetic AI who can  
just hack someone's computer remotely?  
  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
Well she is hot.

Ashley   
  
And synthetic  
  
  
Big Boy Vega  
  
And hot!   
I... I mean and an AI who can   
hack remotely... I guess....

**Tali has entered the meeting**

Tali  
  
Ah finally. Good chaos.  
Wait. Why is Conrad Verner here?  
  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
Conrad? Oh no.  
  
  


K4Id3N AL3nK0

\--- no wait - i'm not!---- 

  
  


**Liara has kicked K4Id3N AL3nK0 from the meeting**

Joker  


All right everyone - Edi's just a little busy  
but she'll be right here just in time to---  
Wait. Where's Kaidan?

"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
It was Conrad. Kaidan probably left  
his password on a public terminal again.  
  


Joker  


That's such a loser move.

  
  
Ashley  
  
Let's give the L2 implant man  
some slack.

  
  
Big Boy Vega  
  
Ash, not cool.   
  


  
Ashley  
  
Not like it isn't true - let's see you  
  


**K4Id3N AL3nK0 has entered the meeting**

**K4Id3N AL3nK0 has left the meeting**

**Kaidan Alenko has entered the meeting**

Kaidan Alenko  
  
Hi everyone!

  
** Edi (Hologram) has (remotely) joined the meeting  
  
**

Joker  


Oh no.

  
  


** Edi has kicked Kaidan Alenko from the meeting **

"Commander Fucking" Shepard : **  
  
**LMAO  
  
  


Tali  
  
Keelah...

Ashley  
  
HAHAHAHA

  
  
  
Big Boy Vega  
  
Big mood

Joker  


Sorry Kaidan.   
Good job, babe.   
  
  
Edi

You are welcome Jeff. Hello everyone  
good to see you all well.  
  
  
Liara  
  
(Groans) Hello Edi.  
  


**Liara has sent an invite to Kaidan Alenko to join the meeting  
**

Edi

Upon looking at the logs it seems I have   
made a miscalculation.

  
"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
LMAO.  
No harm done Edi. You offworld?

Edi

Yes Shepard. I am ---  
  
  
  


**Kaidan Alenko has joined the meeting**

Kaidan Alenko

Hey what just happened?   
  
  
  


"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
Nothing much really - how you doing Kaidan?  
  
  
  


Kaidan Alenko

Oh great. Good thing you asked cause  
I volunteered for this little bake cafe  
and then I---

"Commander Fucking" Shepard :  
  
Ok good talk. Back to you Edi - where you now?  
  
  


**Scar Faced Angel has joined the meeting**

**Scar Faced Angel has changed their name to Garrus  
  
** ** "Commander Fucking" Shepard has changed Garrus' name to Garry Bear **

Garry Bear  
  
  
Hey everyone - what'd I miss?

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos to drabbles who wrote  
> "You should take it as a compliment that I'm talking to everyone here but you"
> 
> Link:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/24856720
> 
> Kudos as well cause formatting is a pain xD


End file.
